Part 2 - A Spiritual Walk-About in My Spiritual Outback

Continued from Part 1

To me there is a huge difference between seeing myself as a part of my environment and seeing me as a user of my environment. To understand I am an integral part of the environment has been an absolute key to my spiritual growth. It reinforces my understanding that I am not a body nor am I what I think. The Truth is I am an already-loved eternal spirit temporarily living here. It is critically important to me to understand my body and its needs has no more rights in this universe than a deer, rabbit, or hummingbird. When I really comprehend this, I am filled with gratitude and serenity. I am not focused on my bodily needs. I am not concerned with lack, or want, or potential disappointment, or fear.

This comprehension comes and goes. Sadly, it mostly goes. I need constant reminders and Mutant Message Down Under has been a major one.

For example: The author spoke (pp, 173-174) of how the tribe, soon after awakening in the predawn, would gather in a circle and affirm their gratitude for the universe providing for them. Day after day after day the universe did just that. Birds would appear. Edible grasses would be ripe for making a kind of flour. After encountering some crocodiles in a pool one day, “[w]e did not camp by the pool but continued our journey that day. The second time we encountered a crocodile it was much smaller and appeared in the manner I now recognized as providing us with life, by volunteering to be dinner. The Real People don’t eat much crocodile meat.…[Nevertheless, we] had baked crocodile eggs which tasted horrible. However, when you request the universe to provide dinner, you don’t second-guess what arrives. You just know in the big picture that all is in order, so you go with the flow, swallow large gulps, and decline second helpings.”

For the Real People everyday begins with gratitude for what the day will bring – for what will be provided. Every day begins with thanksgiving. It is of the utmost spiritual priority that I keep in focus that I am an already-lived eternal spirit having a human experience and my body and its needs is no more important than a grasshopper. Whenever I really stop and think about this, it fills me with gratitude and serenity.

Old time AA members define the difference between religion and spirituality like this: “Religion is for those who desperately do not want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those, like us, who have been to Hell and don’t want to go back.” For me the loss of gratitude and serenity is Hell. I’ve been there. It’s not fun.

Thanks for listening, and – as always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual journey in your Outback.

Don

#4 August, 2012

Copyright, 2012

Part 1 - A Spiritual Walk-About in My Spiritual Outback

It is critically important to me to understand my body and its needs has no more rights in this universe than a deer, rabbit, or hummingbird. I am not a body nor am I what I think.

I just finished reading the book, Mutant Message Down Under, by Marlo Morgan (aka Traveling Tongue), Harper Collins, 1994. It is a fictional account of the spiritual odyssey of an American woman in Australia. The author unexpectedly goes on a 4-month walk-about in Australia’s outback with a small group of Aborigines (who refer to themselves as The Real People). What happens and what she learns about the tribe and herself truly amazed me.

The first time I read it was about 15 years ago when the book was self-published. Several things kept jumping out at me – over and over – as I read the book this time. One concept that continues to tug at my heart was her numerous descriptions of the tribe’s understanding of the Earth, its resources and their relationship to those bounties.

Typically, we think of our relationship to the Earth’s bounties as the biblical concept of Dominion. There is a lot of misconception about this. The biblical understanding of dominion has been interpreted traditionally as God granting humankind with some status as an Overseer or Manager of the Earth’s resources. That understanding is simply untrue. Dominion, sometimes translated from the Hebrew as Lordship, was indeed shared with first Man/Woman, who were made in God’s image.

Then humankind fell and all bets were off!

Other than the Genesis stories of creation, Dominion/Lordship is ascribed to the Lord Himself, except where political (national) dominion is being discussed.

I have commented in earlier posts on my sense of connection to the environment rather than being a user of the environment. I do not believe the Earth and its bounty is simply a great smorgasbord that we humans get to “pig out” on at will. This bounty is not ours to rape and pillage as we see fit. It’s not ours to use as long as it is perceived as being profitable.

For example, I don’t eat veal anymore. Veal was initially a delicacy of very tender calf meat. The meat came from still-born calves or those born with terminal deformities. The meat was pure, sweet and devoid of fat or gristle. To maximize profits for a growing demand, producers began taking healthy new born calves and boxing them in a tight stall to prevent any movement. It would also allow for force-feeding. I find all that repugnant. This violation of natural law and natural bounty is not the biblical concept of “…having dominion…” over the Earth – doing whatever we want to or with God’s other creatures.

Continued in Part 2

Part 2 - When My Serenity Flies Away, I Know I’m Believing What I Think About Myself.

Continued from Part 1

When I drank, I developed a truly insane ability to continue drinking, despite its obvious consequences. I thought I drank because of my messed-up life. It never dawned on me that my messed-up life was because I drank. My life revolved around drinking. Didn’t everyone’s? [I learned much later the answer was “No! That’s true only of alcoholics.] I figured out ways to go to the Men’s Room during a testy business meeting in order to take a quick swig of vodka to calm my nerves. I had pre-planned where to stash the pint bottle. I knew how to hide a flask and secretly add vodka to my glass of house or host’s wine. I’d be able to go into the bathroom or go outside to smoke my pipe carrying my glass of Burgundy or Claret and walk back in with my “new” glass of Rose’.

Even though I have a lot of sobriety now, I am still just another recovering alcoholic. I’m not recovered. Never will be. Now, even though thoughts of alcohol or taking a drink are very rare and come very infrequently, I can still go on a mental or spiritual “bender.” It happens when I take myself too seriously – when I’m focused on myself and actually believe in the reality of what it is I’m thinking.

When I am in this frame of mind I am very emotionally fragile. Everything is interpreted as being personal. Everyone and everything around me is irritating. I am tired or depressed all the time. I have little motivation to accomplish anything. I cannot stay focused on much of anything – other than how much my life is messed up. I get disgusted with myself and want to escape.

In short, I am in a spiritual funk.

All this brings me back to the principles both of AA and ACIM: I am never upset for the reason I think and whatever “it” is, it is always – ALWAYS – an inside job. But I don’t have to believe what I think. All I have to do is ask the Holy Spirit to provide me with a different way of looking at things.

I really wish I could tell you that I have progressed so far on my spiritual journey that these spiritual “funks” are things of the past for me. I really do wish I could tell you that. But I can’t. I get frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned and distraught. But it’s all inside me and now I have the tools to begin the repair.

Whenever all I think about is me, I can recognize the resulting spiritual funk because I have witnessed glimpses of my life full of spiritual calm and joy. So, I can be grateful for these “funks,” because I simply recognize them for what they are – my Ego. Then I forgive myself, and the perceptions I have projected onto others, and ask the Holy Spirit for a different way of looking at the situation, people or events. That change of my perception is up to Him, not me.

Whew! What a relief.

Thanks for listening, and – as always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual path.

Don

#3 August, 2012

Copyright, 2012

Part 1 - When My Serenity Flies Away, I Know I’m Believing What I Think About Myself.

I always try to remember the miracle encapsulated in that anonymous saying: “When you change the way you see things, the things you see change”… including myself.

At first blush this message may seem to contradict last week’s message [Msg-2-August 2012; “When My Serenity Flies Away, I Know I’ve Taken The Focus Off Me.”] Today’s message is about what happens when I put the focus on me, forget what A Course in Miracles (ACIM) teaches, and actually begin believing what I think about me.

It took me a long time to understand the humor and laughter in AA meetings. They’d actually laugh out loud as someone shared their intimate experience, strength and hope, talking about how it was, what happened, and how it is now. The whole group would have a good belly laugh at the more truly embarrassing moments or situations.

Following an almost tearful confession of the loneliness and sense of failure/loss that a newcomer just shared, a group member, looking at the newcomer, shared: “I know that empty feeling you’re feeling. I had that, too, when I got home and all my belongings were in the front yard. As it ended up, my wife got the bank accounts, the house, the kids, and the dog. But, it took all that to get me into these rooms. Thinking about it, though, I really do miss that dog.”

The room would erupt into raucous laughter. “How irreverent!” I’d scoff to myself. “These people are really emotional bullies. They’re insensitive and boorish.“ But that was not it at all.

Members of the Fellowship have come up with some of the most spiritual (and funny) one-liners I have ever heard:

• ·        Most of the time you’re in a funk it’s because “You are comparing [aka: judging] your insides to what you think you are perceiving about someone’s outsides.”
• ·      “I may not be very much, but I’m all I think about.”
• ·      “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

All those laughing in that room were acknowledging they had been exactly where the speaker had been. They had experienced the same story albeit with totally different circumstances and totally different details. But underneath these insignificant differences it was the same story! They were laughing at themselves and with each other – all the while remembering what is was really like for them and how grateful they are for what it is like now.

“I may not be very much, but I’m all I think about.” That’s another way of admonishing: Don’t take myself too seriously. The games my way of thinking played produced a drunk, which is what got me into these rooms.

Continued in Part 2

When My Serenity Flies Away, I Know I’ve Taken the Focus off Me.

I always try to remember the miracle encapsulated in that anonymous saying: “When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.”

In last week’s message (Msg-1-Aug-2012: “Take Care of God’s Will for You for Today and Let God Do His Job of Taking Care of Everyone Else”) an underlying theme was that I welcome virtually anything that will take the focus off of me. Unconsciously, I just seem to gravitate to any and all internal thoughts that will distract me from looking where I really need to be looking – at me.

There are two significant reasons I need to keep the focus on me and my thoughts:

1.     Whatever is causing me an upset is really only my perception of the person, event or situation at hand. Equally, whatever is causing extreme happiness is my perception of the situation at hand. I used to get so frustrated in AA when old-timers would state, “This, too shall pass.” I could fully embrace that saying when I was relaying bad or unsettling news. I found it infuriating when they would say that to me when the news was exhilarating or wonderful to me.

2.     A Course in Miracles (ACIM) teaches: We are never upset for the reason we think. This is one of the initial 50 lessons in the Workbook for Students. It is Lesson Number Five. The first five lessons are: 1. Nothing I see means anything. 2. I have given what I see all the meaning it has for me. 3. I do not understand anything I see. 4. These thoughts do not mean anything. 5. I am never upset for the reason I think.

In short, according to Watson and Perry in a Workbook Companion, Volume 1 (Circle Publishing, 2005, pp. 160-161): “In these first five lessons I am asked to let go of: 1. What I see; 2. My judgments; 3. My understanding; 4. My thoughts; 5. My thought system.

“What we ‘see’ in the normal sense is nothing; we need to realize it is meaningless and let it go, so that vision may take its place. We are not actually seeing things; rather, we are seeing our judgments on them. If we want vision, we have to realize our judgments are invalid, and cease letting them govern our sight…. Our ‘understanding’ of things is based not on reality, but on our own projections…. Like what we see, our conscious thoughts are without any real meaning; we need to let them go, along with judgment-based perceptions…. These thoughts, which are apart from God, require constant justification, and our upset is no more than an attempt to justify our anger [or frustration, or righteousness, or other feelings associated with our ‘memories or thoughts’] with the world and our attacks upon it.”

So, by focusing on me, I am focusing on 1) What is my perception? and 2) What is really going on in my mind /emotions? By focusing on me, I am not focusing on what the jerk said or did or how the idiot looked. I am not focusing on how I would feel better inside if only that jackass wouldn’t keep bringing up these uncomfortable memories.

When I do this reasonably well, I find myself concluding, “They’re doing exactly what I’m doing. They’re reacting to their perceptions just as I am. They’re justifying their anger and frustrations just as I am. They’re looking for confirmation, vindication, validation, security, peace, freedom, joy, and acceptance just as I am.”

When I do this reasonably well my perception of the people, events or situations has changed. Will it change my perceived world? That’s up to the Holy Spirit, not me. I know I cannot change people. I can only look at them with love and acceptance and understanding, which is exactly how I want people to look at me.

This does not mean I have to approve of their words, actions or behavior, just as it doesn’t mean I have to fight for the approval of my words, actions or behavior.  I simply need to accept that, underneath it all, there is not much difference between us.

If I can get to that spot, I can maintain my peace and serenity in the face of aggression, anger and fear. That’s exactly where I want to be.

It’s certainly not easy, but it’s also not very complicated – unless I make it so – by taking the focus off of me. When that occurs, the result is invariably the loss of my serenity and peace. That’s the real meaning of the penetrating question: “Do I want to be happy or right?”

So, I always try to remember the miracle encapsulated in that anonymous saying: “When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.” But I also remember how and when the things may change is up to the Holy Spirit, not me.

Thanks for listening, and – as always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family, and those accompanying you on your spiritual path.

Don

#2 August, 2012

Copyright, 2012

Take Care of God’s Will for You for Today and Let God Do His Job of Taking Care of Everyone Else.

I have found when my prayers stop being for God’s will for me for today, my prayers and energy morph from trying to do God’s will to trying to do God’s job. I’m not up to that. It’s too exhausting and frustrating. Above all, it keeps my focus off of me.

It’s good to be back and writing to each of you – and especially writing to me. After all the person who needs my messages, most of the time, is myself.

I learned something on this trip I want to share with you. It’s about a definition of the word LOVE and it reminded me of some early lessons I learned in AA’s suggested program for recovery.

The Eleventh Step of AA’s Twelve Step Program states: [We] Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

In my AA program (primarily in Eleventh Step meetings) old-timers would admonish me to keep in mind two things about the Eleventh Step. Always remember:

• 1.     That I am praying for knowledge of God’s will for me – not for knowledge of God’s will for each and every one of all of human kind.
• 2.     That I am praying for the will of God for me today – not for forever and ever under all and every circumstance.

Those have proven to be very valuable suggestions for me.

I have found when my prayers stop being for God’s will for me or for God’s will for today, my prayers and energy morph from trying to do God’s will for me to trying to do God’s job.

A big difference!

No wonder I feel stressed and exhausted. I’m not up to doing God’s job. It’s too demanding and frustrating. Above all, it keeps my focus off of me, which can be deadly.

Simply trying to control my thoughts (by remembering I am an already-loved eternal spirit currently having a human experience) is enough of a full time job for me. Simply trying to forgive the perceptions I have projected on people and events, trying to forgive me for creating those perceptions, and listening for the whispers of the Holy Spirit in order to begin perceiving things differently is enough of a full time job for me. I don’t have the time, energy or knowledge to understand what my family or you (or the Syrians!) need. I don’t have the time, energy or knowledge to ask God to grant my prayer so all of you will be better. Just keeping my focus on me is enough of a job.

Doing God’s job is too exhausting and frustrating. In terms of my alcoholism, it will destroy my sense of serenity, which may lead to me falling off the wagon. It will lead to me trying to infuse my ideas onto someone else’s life, which will do nothing but make both of us miserable and destroy our relationship. It will lead to me comparing my insides to your outsides – a very precarious place for me to be – and then having the audacity to ask God to concur with my observations/conclusions. How absurd is that!

But somehow it makes sense to my warped little Ego. It makes sense for my Ego precisely because it keeps my focus off of me.

While we were on this most recent trip, a friend we were visiting shared the following definition of LOVE, which I had not heard before. “L-O-V-E,” she said, “Stands for Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve.” Quite simple. Quite true for me.

Accept others. Support them. Encourage them. Listen to them. But – others are not my responsibility. I do not have to figure out what God needs to do for them or to them or with them. I do not need to figure out what went wrong when God – imagine that! – failed to follow my advice and direction.

And that is precisely how I know I have been trying to do God’s job. Something went wrong! I feel frustrated, anxious, angry, irritated, exhausted. Why? Because things aren’t working out the way I thought they should. My unconscious expectations have not been met. So, I try to tell myself I had no expectations, but my frustration and anger betray me. I try to convince God that my intentions were as pure as fresh-fallen snow, but my irritation and continued fear betray me.

Our friend went on to say, “Expectations are merely future disappointments currently under construction.” So, when my anger, fear, and frustration from unmet expectations rear their ugly heads, I know (as the Course in Miracles aptly states) that I am not upset for the reason I think. Behind the irritation (or fear or frustration or anger) are an unmet expectation and an unfulfilled prayer.

Then I know I have not been L-O-V-E-ing and it shows.

I have confused doing God’s will for me today with trying to do His job – and it shows.

And it’s not pretty.

So, I always try to remember the miracle encapsulated in that anonymous saying: “When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.”

Thanks for listening, and – as always – feel free to forward this message to your friends, family and those accompanying you on your spiritual path.

Don

#1 August, 2012

Copyright, 2012